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Disclaimers and Notes: Same as before. Mmmyup.

When You're Evil and Dead
By: Sforzie

Chapter 19: Throwing Angels

Kuja was surprised to find Kefka waiting for her when she got off the transport back from heaven. He hopped a bit upon spotting her, having apparently regained the ability to walk while she was gone.

"Kuja-doll! There you are!" Kefka intercepted Kuja before she'd gotten far from the 'Arrivals' platform.

"What are you doing here, Kefka?" she wondered.

"Waiting for you," he grinned. "I figured you'd have to come through here eventually..."

"How did you know I went up?"

He shrugged. "I asked the demon over at Departures if a lovely girl with purple hair had come through recently."


Kefka pursed his lips. "He said 'None'." Kuja blinked. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I suppose."


"But then I stuck around anyway because you never went back to the table," Kefka said with a smirk. "I guessed that you went off to visit...someone."

"Well, aren't you a smart one?" Kuja laughed.

"So where did you go, huh?" Kefka asked, hopping a bit as they walked.

"I went to talk to Zidane," she said with a mild shrug.

"Zidaaane? Why would you want to go talk to that goody-goody?"

"I had my reasons," Kuja said. Kefka snorted lightly, but didn't say anything else on the subject.

"Well, I'm glad you came back," he said with a giggle. "I was getting bored."

"You of all people should've been able to find a way to entertain yourself," Kuja smirked.

"Ah, yes, but it's more fun to entertain myself when you're around," Kefka grinned. She arched a brow.

"I'm not going to ask..."

"Uwee hee hee..."

She glanced at him, still smirking. "So where's Sephiroth?"

Kefka scrunched up his nose. "He was back at the table last time I saw him."

Kuja chuckled at Kefka's annoyance.

"Stupid sword-toting bishounen," Kefka grumbled under his breath.

"Now, now, that's not a nice thing to say."

"I could think of worse things to say about him," Kefka snorted.

She gave his ponytail a light tug. "Poor disgruntled Keffy."

"Part of the problem with being dead is that I can't kill him to get rid of him."

Kuja snickered. "I'm sure he'd say the same for you."

"I know! That cad is always trying to upstage me!"

"He's already taller than you, better built than you, and better looking than you," Kuja said. "What the hell else could he do to try to upstage you?"

Kefka's brow ticked in annoyance. "Oh, I'm sure he could think of something."

"You're just jealous."

"Of course I am!" Kefka stomped his foot in mid-step, but continued walking. "I don't see why you like him better than me!"

She smirked at this.

"Besides, he's got the personality of a goldfish."

"Just a very cute goldfish," Kuja quipped. Kefka flushed.

"Can we talk about something other than him?!" He held up a finger before she said anything. "Or his sword."

"Darn, there goes the next topic."

"Why don't you tell me what you did while up in heaven?" Kefka said.

"Like I told you, I went to talk to Zidane."

"Now what could he possibly have to say that would interest you?"

She stuck her tongue out at him briefly. "I was talking to him about you and Sephiroth."

Kefka perked. "Oh reeealllly?" He leaned toward her with a giggle. "What about us?"

"How terribly and relentlessly annoying you are," Kuja said with a smirk.

"Very funny!"

"Well, what would you expect me to say about you?"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe how charming and wonderful I am..." He hopped again in midstep. "Ooh! And what a snappy dresser I am!"

Kuja sweatdropped. "Are you still hungover?"

"Not at all, uwee hee!"

"Then you must just naturally suffer from delusions of granduer," she smirked.

"I don't suffer, I enjoy them greatly!" Kefka giggled. "Why bother aiming low?"

"Depends on what you're trying to hit."

He flushed. "You wouldn't."

"I might, if you keep trying to grope me like that."

"Uwee hee..." Kefka gave her a pinch in the side. "I'll have to keep that in mind."

"Gah!" she laughed and swatted him away. "Stop that, Kefka!"

"Oooh, or what?"

"I'll...I'll..." She huffed a bit. "I don't know what I'll do, but you won't like it!"

"That sounds quite intincing.."

Kuja rolled her eyes. "You're hopeless."

"I can't be completely hopeless," Kefka said with a grin. "After all, I've still got you!"

She blinked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Kefka merely giggled in response. Kuja snorted and shook her head.

They were passing the lava pits on Wretched Souls Blvd. when Kefka stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong?"

He tilted his head, looking around. "I'm not totally sure, but..."

There was a loud, angry roar behind them. Kefka paled even more than usual.

"Th-that would be what's wrong," he said. Kuja sweatdropped.

They turned to see a huge ugly black demon towering behind them.

"I've been looking for you," the demon growled. Kuja and Kefka blinked.

"Flaure?!" Kuja balked. "But I thought--"

"You fools! I know how to get out of my own bottles!!"

"You know, I think she's gotten taller," Kefka said under his breath.

"So what do you want with us?" Kuja shouted. "We beat you, so get over it!"

"I don't like losing," Flaure growled.

"I don't think anyone does," Kefka snickered. Flaure fixed her glare on him.

"So now I'm going to correct the error made at the end of the last round..." A clawed hand quickly reached forward and picked Kefka up by the front of his shirt.

"Gaaah! Hey, put me down!" Kefka struggled, but the demon had a firm grip on him.

"Put Kefka down!" Kuja shouted angrily.

Flaure sneered down at Kuja. "If you insist." She effortlessly threw Kefka over the edge of the nearest lava pit.

"I didn't mean like that!"

"Oh, you should've been more specific," Flaure snarled as she reached for Kuja. She managed to duck away, but Flaure swung her hand back and knocked Kuja to the ground.

Kuja cursed loudly. Flaure grabbed her as she tried to get back to her feet.

"I am so going to kick your ass," Kuja growled.

"Oh, I don't think so," Flaure said, giving her a shake.

"You bitch!"

"Takes one to know one, freak," the demon said, giving Kuja another shake. "And now you get to join your little clown friend in the pits." She threw Kuja in the same direction as Kefka had went. "Have a nice swim!"

Kuja grabbed at the edge of the pit in vain as she fell. She squeezed her eyes again. "Not again!"

There was a long moment of falling before she stopped.

Her eyes opened in surprise as she felt someone catch her. She looked up to find Kefka grinning at her, his face surrounded by a mass of golden feathers.


"Sssh," he shook his head and clamped a hand over her mouth. She nodded, and he removed his hand to point up.

They both looked up, seeing the ugly snout of Flaure peering over the edge of the pit. Kefka hovered underneath a small ledge, hoping to be less visible.

After a long moment, they heard a mocking and victorious roar from above, and the sound of the soul-collector stomping away.

They remained quiet for another long moment, until Kefka seemed satisfied that Flaure had really departed. He gave a relieved sigh and pushed away from the wall. Kuja tilted her head back and looked at him curiously, taking in the strange sight of the four expansive wings on Kefka's back.

"When did you get wings?" she wondered.

"I've always had them here," Kefka giggled, smiling wryly. "I had them when I died, so now I'm stuck with them for eternity."

"But... where are they usually?"

"Under my cloak," he grinned. He pointed to the cloak, which was currently hanging down his back along the junction of his wings.

"Wow..." Kuja tilted her head. "How do you fit all that wing under there?"

They reached the edge of the pit, and Kefka landed lightly. "Very carefully." He set Kuja down, and she stepped back.

"Well, they're very...ah...impressive."

"Uwee hee!" Kefka wiggled the small pair of wings behind his head. "I'm glad you think so." He reached behind his neck and pulled his cloak up, wings mysteriously disappearing as he returned the cloak to its usual position.

Kuja leaned around him, poking his back curiously. "So where are they now?"

"Oh, they're still there," he giggled. "Just very well hidden."

"I see...or rather I don't." She stepped back and grinned.

"We should be okay for now," Kefka said, looking around the area. "Flaure probably thinks that we're taking a long lava bath, so we shouldn't have to worry about her again for awhile."

"That's good to hear," she said, scratching her ear thoughtfully. "Thanks for catching me, Kefka. I wasn't too keen on falling into a lava pit again."

He grinned. "No need to thank me, Kuja-doll. I was already down there anyways..."

His words faded into muted surprise as Kuja leaned forward and left a soft kiss on his lips. She stepped back, giving him a lopsided smile.

"Thank you," she said again.

Kefka blnked in surprise, a blush tinging his pale cheeks as he watched Kuja turn away and scan the area.

"Why do I get the impression that you only kiss people as a way of thanking them for saving your tail?"

She smiled faintly, glancing at him over her shoulder. "It's a place to start."

He tilted his head curiously. "Start what?"

Kuja shrugged mildly. "We should be getting back."

"Aw, c'mon, tell me!" Kefka hopped after her. "You don't go and kiss a guy and then start talking all cryptic and stuff!"

She laughed, looking at him as he caught up. "You're persistent, Kefka. You'll figure it out sooner or later."

"And what's that supposed to mean?!" Kefka said, pausing with his hands on his hips.

She waved a dismissive hand and continued walking.

Kefka gave a little frustrated snort. "Women!" He shook his head. Kefka noticed that she hadn't stopped when he did. "Hey, Kuja-doll, wait for me!"


end chapter 19